jk

Just kidding about not being sad about bountiful high starting school. Today it hit me. Even though I've lived here for the summer sometimes I forget it's permanent, it still feels like a vacation. When stuff like this, school starting, happens it makes me realize it's official. I will never go to that lovely school again and I bawled, hard. That with the combination of my best friend and brother Spencer leaving for BYU this morning. AND making the decision that I'm not going to try out for volleyball. Most of my family has been gone all day and sometimes it feels good to just cry. Cry as loud as you want cause no one can here you, being fine with wearing no make up and baggy clothes, jumping in the pool, and reading a gooood book. Mockingjay duh.

Today was the complete opposite of yesterday. Another friend texted me telling me my name was called on the role, this time instead of thinking it was funny, I cried. Instead of being completely excited for volleyball tryouts I was filled with fear and anxiety to whether I should go back for day 2. Instead of being happy when Camrie called me to tell me about school I teared up just hearing her voice. Instead of driving around La Canada with my brother I drove around by myself. Its hard but it will get better.

Sorry for anyone who reads my blog. I realize it's kind of a downer but sometimes it just feels good to let it out.