the sky looks pissed

The title is a line from a song by Ingrid Michaelson and every time I hear it I think it's such an odd way to talk about the weather. The weather was taunting me yesterday. I woke up to dark skies and it just felt like it should rain. But it doesn't rain often here so of course today was no exception. I want a storm. A huge thunder AND lightning storm! Those are my favorite. That was one of my favorite things about going back to Utah this summer. It was deathly hot during the day, perfect for boating and swimming. But at night it was break into sweet thunderstorms and my friends and I would sit on the Boulevard, drenched, and watch the lightning.

I babysat the cutest kids last night. They were just fun to be with, minded me for the most part, and were gorgeous little kids. We played Just Dance, Hide-n-go seek, guess the animal and watched How to Eat Fried Worms. As I was trying to get the two little boys, Ty and Jack, to bed this little convo occured:

Jack: "Can't you just live here?"

Me: "What do you mean? As your sister"

Ty and Jack: "Yeah that would be way fun!"

Ty: "Well you are our sister, our Heavenly sister." smart boy right there.

Loved it, made my night.

I finally have a schedule. What a relief. I'll be gone everyday from 5:55 to 2:30, crazy huh! Oh well I'm pretty excited for school. I actually, for once in my life, am excited to go back for the work. I want to learn and I want homework. I want to actually study hard this year, maybe stop procrastinating. haha nah that was pushin it. Anyway I'll give you an update on how school went on Tuesday!

jk

Just kidding about not being sad about bountiful high starting school. Today it hit me. Even though I've lived here for the summer sometimes I forget it's permanent, it still feels like a vacation. When stuff like this, school starting, happens it makes me realize it's official. I will never go to that lovely school again and I bawled, hard. That with the combination of my best friend and brother Spencer leaving for BYU this morning. AND making the decision that I'm not going to try out for volleyball. Most of my family has been gone all day and sometimes it feels good to just cry. Cry as loud as you want cause no one can here you, being fine with wearing no make up and baggy clothes, jumping in the pool, and reading a gooood book. Mockingjay duh.

Today was the complete opposite of yesterday. Another friend texted me telling me my name was called on the role, this time instead of thinking it was funny, I cried. Instead of being completely excited for volleyball tryouts I was filled with fear and anxiety to whether I should go back for day 2. Instead of being happy when Camrie called me to tell me about school I teared up just hearing her voice. Instead of driving around La Canada with my brother I drove around by myself. Its hard but it will get better.

Sorry for anyone who reads my blog. I realize it's kind of a downer but sometimes it just feels good to let it out.

how was school?

Today was the first day of school back at good BHS. I felt like a mom cause I think I asked every single one of my friends how it went. Berkeley called me and gave me the details of every class, how annoying the sophomores were, how the new seniors felt too cool and how it was just fun to be back. She said in her english class the teacher was calling role and she called my name and my friends told her I wasn't going to be coming. I've talked to excited new sophomores and juniors prepping up for the hard year ahead. I love that school and i'm glad people are keeping me updated. Yeah it's sad but i'm moving on, La Canada is my new school and i'm going to have a grand time there.

Today were also volleyball try outs for me. hahaha wow where to start. 1) I haven't played volleyball since 9th grade, although i didn't do bad there. 2) This week is conditioning and sadly I'm very out of shape. I am surprised I survived today and am dreading going back tomorrow. I honestly don't think I'll make the team but I don't want to be a quitter. I'll let ya know if I make it through tomorrow's practice. haha so embarrassing.

anywayy we decided we were going to take a family picture before spencer left for college..tomorrow :(. We had decided to do it in Huntington Beach while we were there over the weekend but of course that didn't happen. Then we planned to do it on Sunday. Good guess didn't happen. I was surprised when i found out we were doing it tonight at Descanso Gardens or something like that. Things like this never end up how we want them. We get there and they're closed. We decide we'll just have to take it at our church which is actually very pretty. We get all situated when just to our luck our camera dies. too funny. we ended up charging it in the car for 5 minutes and snapping a couple quick pictures. They didn't end up that bad! i'll post them later for your enjoyment.

one last thing. If you haven't read HUNGER GAMES. you must. I'm not a reader but I just love these books. The first part of the book isn't super great but once you get past the first 3rd you won't be able to put it down, I garuntee it. Like I said I hate reading but I read this book in one day and stayed up till 3 reading it! The second book in the series, Catching Fire is just as good and just as hard to put down. The third book Mockingjay comes out tomorrow and i couldn't be happier. I'm re-reading the 2nd book right now and even though I already know what's going to happen I can't stop reading it.

well gotta go take a picture with spence since he's leaving me tomorrow. boo

be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it

So some time ago I started smiling weird as a joke...just to be funny.

Exhibit A

The smile's kinda creepy and my sister and I would do it to each other and just laugh.

Well I've been doing it for a little while now and now my actual smile is messed up!! I keep smiling like this on accident and i'm so mad that i can't smile normal anymore. Oh well I'm just hoping I don't smile like that in my school picture...that'd be bad news bears.

shaka

I'm currently in heaven. aka a beach house in San Clemente, CA. It is SO gorgeous here. I love hearing the constant sound of the ocean. You walk out the back door and you're in the sand. Today I took my ipod and journal and sat by myself in the sand. I blasted Joshua Radin and just wrote about everything. Usually when I write in my journal i just write a schedule of the events that happened, but this time i just let out all my feelings. It felt soo good to the wind blow my hair (ps i haven't showered or brushed my hair since i've been here, heaven. haha), the sun setting and shining on my skin and the ocean roaring in front of me. It was perfect. Sometimes you just need those moments to think and evaluate life. that sounds pretty deep haha.

so mi madre loves telling people about the "love languages". She's told me all about them, we've even taken tests to see which one we had but I never tell people what mine is. My mom's asked me a lot but I always just pull the..."I don't know, guess i don't have a heart." Secretly i've known all along which one is mine but i don't like to tell people. I feel like If people know then they just try to please you by using it. does that make sense? I feel like once I tell people what my love language is then it won't mean as much to me. I don't know maybe this salt water and sand is just getting to me...anyway i'm still not going to tell you. haha maybe someday...if you're really lucky. I'm going to end this before i start rambling even more.

miss me?

so I've decided: I'm a lousy blogger. I don't blog very much and when I do they are usually pointless and boring. ah well sometimes it just feels good to write. I'm going to share some things I love. Here goes. I love when i find out something glows in the dark. Such as my retainer, and the two boondoggle bracelets i made. (no one in california calls it boondoggle...they think i'm crazy) I love buying a dress and later realizing it has pockets. Kayaking in the ocean in the fog. Amazing. Camping in the mountains but looking down to see the ocean. The new dresser for my closet. I've never had my closet look so organized in my life. Meeting new friends. Sandwiches (i think i eat at least one a day.) Some french song i found on my ipod. being crafty. & school supply shopping...i want to do that soo badly. well there ya go there's another odd blog by ms. madison noelle blake.